Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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