Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
