I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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