Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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