at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
