You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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