thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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