Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
