i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character