Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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