You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hate all girls vehemently.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
