1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
pop tarts are not kleenex
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
