You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
