Pappa wants mamma naked
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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