I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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