im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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