this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
