she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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