Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
