well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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