At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
