sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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