Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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