That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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