idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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