I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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