you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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