I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
