i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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