Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Randomize
