Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
