i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
