i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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