What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
