I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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