I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
