Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
