Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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