I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize