I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
