So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
