Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
