Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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