stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize