How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she smelled like a LAN party
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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