nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize