no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
