Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
