I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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