idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
