the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize