is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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