i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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