I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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