how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My balls are so social today.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
