I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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